Creative Visual Writing

“Run away with me.”
“Like we always used to.”
“Away from all of the things that make the tears fall from your face.”
“Just one more trip.”
“Let our scars touch as we interlace our hands.”
“As we run through the rain”
“I’ve only ever wanted to be yours.”
“You always have been.”

“Sir, visiting hours are ending.”
“Please don’t go.”
“Please, can’t I stay through the night?”
“Like we used to, curled together.”
“I’m sorry sir, but it can only be immediate family members.”
“It’s always like this.”

“Okay, I’ll be back tomorrow.”

One thing they don’t tell you about being in love with
someone is that sometimes you feel so close to them
that you almost can touch them.

But, other times…

It feels almost like they are miles from you
while you hold them in your arms.

Love can be the most difficult emotion to experience. If you don’t experience you can’t say you’ve lived. If you ever find it, you will lose it, and it will hurt. Love for many is a wonderful euphoric experience. It’s wonderful until the betrayal takes hold. It’s wonderful until you see the person you Love show Love to someone else the way they promised only to you. Many times Love leads to heartbreak. Isolation. Hate and Discontent.

That burning sensation in your throat from fighting the tears. The heaviness of your body. The instinct to curl into a ball and hide from the world. You can’t keep your eyes open. You want to scream till your voice bleeds. Then the silence of the world wraps you like a blanket. That silence is so loud. The absence of their voice. The absence of their presence in that void.

Then the voices start. The internal voices of what you could have done. How you could have stopped the bad thing from happening. The persecution of your self. The drive to rip and claw at anything close enough, but the only thing that’s close is you…

But, it never helps…

Sitting in the wake of your own destruction, you feel broken and less than. A piece of you is missing now. You took something from you. A something you may never find again on your own. Then comes shame. How could I do something like this to me!? How is this the only thing that lets me feel…

But, “At least I feel…”

Many think that this is a road that you can’t turn around on. A road that is so dark that no matter where you turn it all winds up back here. Here in this awful place. So you start cutting off you emotions like a butcher. You see everyone around you acting fine, so you have to be fine. Because how could someone Love this… Love you like this.

It’s okay to not be okay.
It’s okay to not be okay, and struggle.
It’s okay to not be okay, and struggle, and fail.
It’s okay to not be okay, and struggle, and fail, and want to give up.
It’s okay to not be okay, and struggle, and fail, and want to give up, and try again.

It is okay to not be okay…